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Jamaican Jokes. One day dis rich man was having a party at him yard. Him was loaded, and he had everything; money, a big house pon di hills, drugs,girls, cars, planes; anything him wanted. Dis man was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles. So there he was, him and him fren dem, all standing around drinking, getting high and partying next to de pool. Den him get up pon di lifegard tower and all him fren dem look up.

Him call for silence and says. Him look ova di crowd, draw pon him joint and says "OK, di first person fi swim cross mi pool gets all mi money and mi house. Crocodiles are all over him, but him roll ova like Tarzan, him all over di place, fighting and dodging.

Finally him get outta di pool on the other side. Di rich man on di tower jumps down and Jamaican jokes for adults over to him. I neva thought that mi woulda ever see dat done. Di rich man look pon him and she "Woh what de hell yuh want?!?! Deejay, yuh cyaah play Linni meister pupper swinger oslo more calypso?

A man called a popular Jamaican talk show and said: "Miss Jamaican jokes for adults, mi caan understand how people love do di same ting ova and ova. Why dem caan sen smaddy go a sun? Calmly, Miss G replied: "Well, my dear sir, the sun is so hot here and it is 93 million miles away.

Can you imagine how hot it is there? The spacecraft wouldn't even get close. It would burn up many miles away from the sun. Jus sen di ship inna de night!! Ah caan hear yuh? Two men were stoning a mango tree, trying to hit down a large mango right in the top, when one said to the other: "All de stone we a stone, suppose de mango no ripe?

The first man then climbed the tree, went way to the top where the limbs were dangerously thin, felt the mango and came back down. A small village some miles away experienced heavy rains.

A rastafarian's home was flooded out. On the roof the rastafarian prayed to Jah to save him. Feeling sure that his prayer would be answered he waited patiently. After a few minutes some men came in a boat and asked him if he needed help. To this he replied: "Jah Jamaican jokes for adults save I and I. A few minutes passed then a plane came to aid the dread followed by a helicopter, and each time the Ras replied: "Jah will save di I. Alas, the Ras drowned.

When he was resurrected and met Jah in heaven he asked: "Jah, why yuh mek mi drown? You never hear mi prayer? Peter came to Jamaican jokes for adults Lord and said, "Lord, I have to talk Jamaican jokes for adults you. I have a problem. I know we have affirmative action and we are supposed to have 20, Jamaicans in heaven. But they are causing so many problems! They have torn down the Pearly Gates by swinging on them. They have stolen my horn. They have gotten jerk sauce all over their white robes.

Drumpan chicken is being Jamaican jokes for adults all over the Streets of Gold. Some are walking around with Jamaican jokes for adults one wing because they are "styling". Angels must have two wings to fly! The white robes are eternal and must be washed five times a day. Some haven't washed their robes since they arrived because they don't do "day's work". Many who came here because they used salt are still using it because they don't like "ital" food.

Some have refused to take their turn in helping keep the Stairway to Heaven clean. Some refuse to wear their halos because they don't fit right over their hairstyles. Reggae music is blasted at all hours of night at their "bashments", disturbing all the other residents.

They have planted marijuana in the Garden of Eden since the soil is so fertile. Jamaican jokes for adults should I do?! They have just as much right to be here as other nationalities. Maybe we just don't know how to deal with them; maybe we are using the wrong approach. We need to check with someone who has more experience dealing with them.

Let's call the Devil. What can I do for you? He came back to the phone and said, "OK Lord, I'm back. What's up? This time he was gone for fifteen minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said, "Lord, I am really sorry, but Jamaican jokes for adults can't talk to you right now. I have to go. These damm Jamaicans down Jamaican jokes for adults They Jamaican jokes for adults just put out the fire! At the station, the three Americans each buy a ticket and watch as the three Jamaicans buy only a single ticket.

They Jamaican jokes for adults board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Jamaicans cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train is departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket,please. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Americans decide to copy the Jamaicans on the return trip and save some money.

When Jamaican jokes for adults get to the station. To their astonishment, the Jamaicans don't buy a ticket at all. When they board the train the three Americans cram into a restroom and the three Jamaicans cram Jamaican jokes for adults another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Jamaicans leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

A man goes to Victoria Secret to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit. The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me. I can take this back for a refund and he won't know the difference. So his wife comes Jamaican jokes for adults wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs.

A Canadian Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Guyanese driver that because he was wearing his seatbelt Jamaican jokes for adults had. This woke up the Bajan guy in the back seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned, "I knew we was not gonna get far in dis thiefin car. At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a Jamaican voice said,in patois, "Yow!

They all were very nervous. The patrolman said, "I Jamaican jokes for adults loved the island music but never understood the words. Here's your voucher, have a nice day". There was a day that a ship got its bottom ripped at sea and was taking in a lot of water. So the Captain evacuated the entire ship until all that was left was three crew men, himself and a Jamaican jokes for adults. One of Jamaican jokes for adults crew was a Trini, one a Bajan, and the third a Guyanese.

The captain said the life boat could only take three people, himself being one; two would go and one would have to stay. So he decided to asked some questions and the one who was wrong would stay.

Trini - what was the greatest disaster at sea? Bajan - how many people were on board? A man from "deep country" went to the Montego Bay Airport, very. He anxiously asked the agent at the ticket Jamaican jokes for adults, with thick. Jamaican accent " Do, sell me a ticket to Jeopardy, ma'am.

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